Sunday Worship Times

8:30 a.m.
Contemporary Worship

9:50 a.m.
Sunday School

11:00 a.m.
Traditional Worship


Wednesday Evening Services

6:00 p.m.
Praise Band Practice

7:00 p.m.
Adult and Children's Bible Studies


United Methodist Women

7:00 p.m.
Every Fourth Sunday


 

Poems and Miscellany

We sometimes include poetry and very short stories or other fillers in the newsletter. Some of these are put here for you to enjoy again. Longer poems or those with special content are linked as a pdf file. You will need Adobe® Acrobat® reader, a registered trademark of Adobe Systems Inc. in the United States, to access those files.

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Devil's Beatitudes

If the devil were to write his beatitudes they would probably go something like this:

  1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy or too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians. They are my best workers.
  2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked. I can use them.
  3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church. They are my missionaries.
  4. Blessed are the complainers, I'm all ears to them.
  5. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes. They get nothing out of his sermons.
  6. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church. He is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
  7. Blessed are those who gossip for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
  8. Blessed are those who are easily offended. They will soon get angry and quit.
  9. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work. They are my helpers.
  10. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister. He shall be with me forever.
  11. Blessed are you who, when you read this, think it is about other people and not yourself. I've got you, too!

--copied


The Singer by Mildred Tolbert


Sun Pumpkin by Janey Deal and Cindy Sears


 

Contact Information: 828.396.2214 or info@ebenezerum-church.org